Thursday, August 18, 2005

Ah Beng Jokes

AH BENG the Crazy Singaporean.
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed Lah !

Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "

Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age,
Address etc.
Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure
of the question.
After much thought, he writes " Yes "

Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do ?"
Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"

After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares
it with the original for spelling mistakes.

Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks
his picture is being taken.

Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.

Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help'
command after some tries.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer
retailer for support.
Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been
over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!"

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah - but
instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and
stuck it
to my ear, lah" "Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ...
what happened to the other ear ?"
Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"

Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
Taipei
AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU , lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for
quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN
FOR 4-7 YRS".

At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the
bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE"
and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"

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